Christmas At Home

For the past four years we have celebrated Christmas overseas.  There were two years in Holland and two years in Dubai.  We loved our Christmas celebrations and kept many of our old traditions with us while also creating new ones.  Wherever we were, we always had a wonderful Christmas because we were together.

This year we are back at home in Texas.   Unpacking our Christmas decorations was so much fun.  We had not brought ANY decorations with us overseas, so the ornaments, village, Santas, snowmen, and stockings had all been packed away in storage all this time.   It seemed as if every box we opened brought another round of smiles and laughs.  When we opened Kevin's boxes, there were actually reminder notes of "what to do in 2008!".  Little did we know that we wouldn't see those notes until 2012!  Just too funny.

One of the things we have enjoyed the most about being 'home' is the Christmas lights.  I really don't know if there are more lights this year than there were five years ago and the neighbors have just all decided to do it up big, bigger, and biggest, or if I just plain and simple took the decorations for granted.   In any case, the drive through Friendswood is just wonderful.  I have tried very hard to take pictures to share.  Unfortunately, no matter how hard I try, the pictures just do not do the home decorations justice.  I hope you are still able to look at the pictures, close your eyes, and imagine just how truly beautiful (or weird), they are.

This is how Santa comes to Friendswood!  On a fire truck and giving away treats to kids and dogs alike!

Beautiful house.  Every door and window outlined in lights. 

This house is a little overdone.  Don't quite understand why the reindeer have to stand in the trees!

Biggest Santa I have ever seen!

This house is MASSIVE and has all of their trees outlined in blue lights.  Words can't describe....

We kept looking at this.  Just don't get it!  How does people dancing in front of a board celebrate Chrismas?

This is the Griswolds house.  All to music and WAY overdone.  Could not get a picture of all the stuff!

I love the "light" tree.  My dad did this in our yard when I was little.

The school mascot is the mustang.  The blue mustangs bring Santa into town here! 

Not many nativity scenes in town, but this one would win my vote for best.

True Reindeer games! 

My dog, Shadow, loves this! She stops on her walk and just stares at all the movements.

I found in our "elf" box the Christmas lists the kids had left for Santa.  When they were little, they just had to cut out pictures from ads of their 'wants".  Made it SO easy!

This is tree #1 in my house.  Only nine feet tall this year.  It holds all of our very special ornaments.

This is my international tree.  Only one US ornament, one of the Texas flag.  All the other ornaments were bought on our travels overseas.

Finally put a tree in my room.  Just snowflakes and ornaments to match the colors of the room.

This is the game room tree.  All homemade ornaments and favorite disney and special event ornaments picked out by the kids. 

There are two more big trees in Sarah and Brian's rooms which hold their very special ornaments.  Kevin's room and the guest room only have 4 1/2 foot trees due to space limitations.

Christmas in Texas has been wonderful.  I have loved the crazy hustle and bustle.  I have enjoyed hearing the kids in the mall laugh, cry, and plead "please tell me what I did wrong!".  I enjoyed seeing a man shopping in his one piece footy pajamas yesterday.  I had tears in my eyes when I was finally singing the solo "O Holy Night" at church again.

Being away was wonderful, but being home is pretty incredible too.  I think I did not know how very much I missed it until I had to miss it no more.   Being home takes away nothing from the wonderful memories of our Christmas' abroad. We cherish every one of those moments equally as much as we do our little "to do in 2008" notes.

I wish all of my friends a wonderful, blessed Christmas.  May your new year be filled with everything your heart desires, but especially friends, family, good health and happiness.  

With love...
Carol

Cookies and Lemonade

We all know the phrase "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade".  For the person that makes great lemonade we say "she is a tough cookie".   As 2012 is drawing to a close, I have to say that my family has had enough lemonade and cookies - come on 2013!

Our year started out great.  We were finishing up our expat assignment in Dubai.  The family had made a list of the things we had to see and do before we moved back home.  We didn't miss a beat!  We shopped, we traveled, and we had checked all of the boxes.   Kevin was graduating from our wonderful American School of Dubai and his final year had been so much fun!  There were a flurry of activities and a great group of "senior moms" who were on a mission to make this final year the BEST EVER!   I still smile when I think about it.

We headed back to the States at the end of June.  About the time we were packing up the house, I became aware that my mom was having some health issues.  My sister kept me informed daily as to the happenings back at home, but by the time I landed on June 20th, it became apparent I was needed at mom's place in Florida.  I headed out five days later.  This seems to be when things turned sour.

Over the next few weeks my sister and I took my mom to many doctor visits and decided (told) she needed to live near one of us.  My mom was diagnosed with Lewy Body Disease.  If you have not heard of it, go ahead and google!   It is the 2nd most common form of a dementia illness, just behind Alzheimers.  After living in Florida for 34 years, it was decided mom would become a Texan.  I returned back to Texas and started looking for an assisted living facility for mom.  I found a wonderful place.  It was so much more like an apartment complex than a "facility" that mom should truly be happy there.  The story of the actual move is quite long and detailed, but in summary, she came, she saw, she conquered!  She handled the move with true grace and strength.  Toughest cookie around! 

Within the next month, my brother-in-law had a stroke and Kevin had a bike accident at school.  In October Sarah was diagnosed with epilepsy and my nephew required major surgery on his shoulder.   All of this was happening while we were working on settling back into our house and trying to turn it into the loved home it once was, instead of the rental house it had become.

I feel my family has had their fair share of lemonade this year.  There have been a few other challenges along the way, my sister got shingles, my dog got attacked by another dog, and a few challenges at mom's place that will remain unspoken.  Through it all I have become so proud of my family and so thankful for what we have.  Every time we have been faced with another challenge, we have all pulled together.  We have been supportive of one another.  We have demonstrated that we are a family of tough cookies.  Now I do realize how incredibly blessed we are.  Our challenges have been minor compared to those faced by others, but these are ours.  Since we are never given more than we can handle, these challenges fit us just right!

I did not write this for pity or sadness.  I put this down in writing as a reminder to myself that my family can and will handle "it"....whatever "it" may be.   We are always there for each other and always will be.  As for 2013.....come on cake and ice cream - I am ready for a change! 

 

My Name is Carol.

When you are an expat it is inevitable that you will change.  Your tastes will change, you may develop a new look, you most certainly develop a new outlook on the world.  But the most recognizable change is in some of our habits.   In our house, my husband still likes to greet us in the morning with a little dutch "Goedemorgen".  When we are awaiting the arrival of a repair person, or friend, we know they will arrive at the designated time, followed by an arabic "inshallah".   These words have just become part of our vocabulary.

While away, I did develop one other little habit.  I didn't think it was a problem until just recently.  My habit is telling people my name.  I find myself constantly introducing myself to strangers.  Sometimes I receive a return greeting, most commonly is this kind of puzzled look.

So now I feel the need to defend my actions!  When you live abroad and your children attend an international school, the majority - probably 90% - of the school's population are expats.  Our last school had students and families from over 60 countries.  We all had a common bond....we are not in our home country.  You can make friends very easily in an international school.  The two campus we attended required security passes to gain access to the buildings.  Once on the grounds, you could always find moms having meetings, having coffee, and sometimes just using the cafeteria as a gathering place.   There was always someone to talk to.   If you walked into the room and did not know someone's name, it is not at all unusual to walk up to them, smily and introduce yourself.  The conversation from that point on flowed pretty easily.  We could talk about where we were from, where we have lived, and then, of course, the ages of our kids.  If it was nearing a holiday, you could ask for trip advice or if family was coming to visit.  The ability to find a topic of discussion is SO easy.   I loved finding friends in the cafeteria.  I loved hearing the stories from other people about the wonderful places they have lived and traveled.

Then I came home.   Parents are not allowed on the high school campus during lunch hours.  You can not enter the building to just walk around, talk with people, and see what is happening on campus.  The school is for kids!  Really!  I had grown accustomed to the school being a social gathering place!  It feels so strange to be locked out. 

So here is where the problem began.  I volunteered to work the concession stand during a football game.  I was actually looking forward to it as I would finally get to meet some new parents.  We would make popcorn, laugh, and get to know one another.  Our friendships would blossom!!   So here is the scene, I walk in, smile and say "Hi, I am Carol Chew".   Response "Make sure you sign in on the board outside and then decide whether you want to work up front or make nachos."   Wait, What?   Ok, so maybe she was too busy to talk.  I proceeded to take my place up front and introduce myself to the other worker bees.  Nods, a few smiles, and first names only.   My heart kind of sank.  I went home a bit frustrated, but that was only one experience.  I had another opportunity to make friends at the upcoming band dinner.  I volunteered to work from 3-5.  I walked in, set down my purse, and stepped up to the woman who appeared to be in charge.  I introduced myself "Hi, I am Carol Chew".   Response "OK, I need you to scoop cobbler and then make lemonade."  Wait, What?  Now, who is this person?  Who are all these people??   So, I scooped cobbler, made lemonade and went home.

People are not being rude, really.  They are just being people.  They have lived in this same town probably most of their lives.  They have been running things at the school for years and already have their tight, closed group of friends.  I am a stranger.  

One more try....the following week I went into the concession stand.  I introduced myself  "Hi, I am Carol Chew".   Response "OK, be sure to sign in and.."  I interrupt....."Wait!   Who are you??"   She told me her first name and then proceeded with directions for my job.  Funny, now I don't even remember her name.  It was the only conversation we had.    At this point I am now really frustrated and discouraged.  How exactly do you make friends here?    Later in the week I walked into the school reception area to drop off something for Sarah.   As I made conversation with the receptionist I said "I have not met you yet, my name is Carol Chew".  Response, "I am always here."   What an odd name!  So nice to meet you "Always Here.  Do you have children at the school?".    Not so funny.  AND - I still don't know her name.

That night I went out to dinner with my friends, not shiny, new friends, but the good old true friends, I complained about the lack of introductions in this town.  I relay my stories about how no one will introduce themselves.  I am perceiving this as rude, unjust, and just really sad.  I may have returned to my old town, but I am still new and I WANT FRIENDS!   The girls laugh and offer one piece of advice "QUIT TELLING PEOPLE YOUR NAME!".    

That night I think it over.  I guess they are right.  Friendships here at home grow slowly, gradually, and very carefully.  There is no need to make friends quickly.  Being an expat sparks the desire to connect and make our home-away-from-home family.  That is no longer the world I live in.   Ugh.  How sad.  But I will try, I will conform, I promise myself I will adjust.   And, I did try, for almost 24 hours.  Of course the next night I did catch myself introducing myself to a couple in line at the haunted house.   Guess I'll try again tomorrow.  But....know this world.....I AM CAROL! 

"I got it! I can do it!"

From the time our children are born we teach them how to do things on their own.  We clap and cheer when they take their first steps.  We are so delighted when they can feed themselves, and we are over the  moon when they learn to use the potty!  Woohoo!  Our baby is growing up.   While it is wonderful to celebrate their learning to be independent, there comes a day when it all comes back to haunt you......welcome to the College Drop Off!

Kevin is now a freshman at Texas Tech.  His senior year at ASD was so much fun.  The parents (read moms) were awesome.  Together the Senior Moms planned get togethers, passed out treats, and held celebrations for our kids.  We were so excited for them to finish high school.  As the Senior Year drew to a close, the moms became more and more sensitive.  A song on the radio could bring a tear.  I, however, never shed a one.  Kevin was quite disappointed that I did not cry as he tried on his graduation gown, as he took his Senior Picture, and has he walked down the aisle of the auditorium.  He kept asking me if I was going to be sad at his leaving for college.  Silly boy...he ended up with more than he bargained for!
 
As our children grow and begin to demonstrate their independence, we are really happy for them and for ourselves.   We love that we can leave them alone overnight while going out for a grown-up date night.  While we begin the driving process with extreme fear, we quickly learn to rely on our new driver.  They can take themselves to their own events and also help transport the siblings all over town.  Another Woohoo moment!
Their personal milestones are also our milestones.  We are proud of ourselves for raising independent young adults.  

Then, the go away.....

We brought Kevin to Freshman check-in this past weekend.  I was prepared both mentally and physically.  I knew we would be carrying LOTS of stuff to his room (that is the physical).   From listening to my sister and my friends with kids in college, I knew Kevin would not want us hanging around.  He would want to set up his room on his own (that is the mental).  OK - I am ready - Let's Go!

We carried all of his 'stuff' to his college dorm room.  It was shocking to me how used it looked.  I knew the rooms would be small, even though Kevin is in a large suite in the Honors dorm.  But I expected it to be new, clean, and fresh; just like my freshman.  Instead it was old, used, and a bit dusty.  Didn't seem to bother Kevin a bit.  His eyes focused on HIS place.  His first home away from home.  His first step out of our nest.  We delivered all of his items, asked what he needed help with.  I was grateful that I was asked to put together his bed.  See...he still needs me.  Kevin and Jim began assembling shelves.  They are the kind that don't even need tools.  Within minutes I heard Kevin saying..."no dad, I got it, I can do it".   Jim quickly backed down, understanding this new attitude and took a seat only to observe.  The decision was made that Jim and Kevin could put together things for the room, but not together!  Jim had his projects and Kevin had his.  When it was all said and done, I asked how else we could help.  Put clothes in the closet, unpack a box, hang the shower curtain.  Again those words rang in my ears...."I got it.  I can do it."

This little boy who I had proudly raised to be an independent young man was ready.  Ready to fly.  Ready to be on his own.  Ready to conquer the world, make new friends and (in the words of my now favorite son, Brian) ready to start the first chapter in his own book.   Where, I wonder, is my woohoo?  Why are there tears in the place of cheers?   He has become the strong person I wanted.  QUICK!  Let's rewind and knock him down when he starts taking his first steps.  Let's tell him "NO" when he picks up a spoon, and....ok, I'll let the potty training progress as planned!  Let's just slow down time a little.

Jim and I stopped by Kevin's room before leaving town the next day.  Kevin had spent the night before setting everything up.  He was so proud, so excited.  It was his own.  As we said our good-byes, the tears poured out.  Not a pretty, TV actress cry, but a puffy, red-eyed cry.  I gave Kevin a hug and just never wanted to let go.   But I did.   I let go.  I told him how proud of him I am.  How I know he will do great.  How I know he will love being in college and will face every challenge head-on.   Then I told him I am just a phone call away....just in case. 

He got it.  He can do it.  Jim and I are proud knowing we raised him to be this strong, independent young man.  I just wish we didn't do it so fast. 

Our Repatriation

When I hear the word "repatriate" my mind translates to THE Patriots and I automatically picture Jim's favorite football team or the old soldiers in the heavy blue wool uniforms.  No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to relate 'that' word to moving back home.   Repatriate?  Hmmm....maybe that is what is causing my odd reaction to our arriving back in the US.  If it were only that simple!

I have read so much about repatriating.  I have read books and articles and attended lectures all in preparation for this major event.  I have prepared myself and my children for the emotional roller coaster that we were about to board.  I have told them we would experience the same feelings as when we first became expats.  We would be excited, go through the "honeymoon" stage where every shopping trip, grocery store visit, and drive down the street is just wonderful.  We would then need to be prepared for the difficult adjustment of blending in with our 'old' friends, our new friends, and the return to a home town situation that is the same, but very different.  We were prepared....we were ready...bring it on.

As the time to move back to the US drew closer, I would dream of our arrival back at Intercontinental Airport in Houston.  I imagined getting off of the plane, jumping into each others' arms and crying with the tears of extreme happiness and excitement.  In the final weeks of our Dubai assignment, everytime I heard the song "Wave Your Flag" I would cry.  Oh, how I missed our flag and how I could not wait to see it hung so proudly everywhere you looked.  So much joy was just around the corner.   

As we began our "final descent into Houston", I did begin to cry.  I was not crying those tears of joy and excitement though.  The tears were of sadness of what I had left behind in my "expat" life.  I immediately missed Dubai, our incredible school, and the wonderful friends I had made over the past two years.  Those friends were our family for the past two years.  I already missed them.    When we entered the airport, there were not flags everywhere, just people.  People in regular clothes, people who looked like us; the sea of women in  black and men in white was gone.  Instead of feeling overwhelming happiness, I felt out of place, a little confused.  I just felt like maybe I didn't belong.   I was now looking at Houston through critical eyes.  The billboards, the one little mall in town, and the lack of shine and sparkle....they were all gone.  What in the world was happening to me?  Why wasn't I bubbling with pride over being home?   I still just don't get it.  The books SAID I would be excited.  They SAID I would feel overwhelming happiness...before the sadness.  They said this and that and I believed them! 

The past two weeks have been filled with car shopping, phone shopping, and sending Sarah off to camp.  The weeks have also been filled with the reality that I have an aging mother who needs a lot of care.   It has been busy.  It has been overwhelming.  It has been reality.  Just saying that outloud makes me reflect on the past four years and what a dream they have been.  For four years we have traveled the world, met people from everywhere, and experienced things I never even dreamed of.   We truly have lived in a dream world.  We were not living a true reality. 

Being an expat made us special, made us different.  It gave you an opening line with everyone you meet.  When people asked you where you live, how cool to say "Dubai".  WOW...impressive.  Our summers were spent shopping for the items we missed, the clothes we couldn't find (at reasonable prices), and reconnecting and sharing stories with our friends and family.  Then before you knew it, off we would go, back to dreamland.  Back to the place where you miss home, miss conveniences, but are feeling such excitement over the experiences before you.  This is not the repatriation I was promised!  This is not the feeling I expected, prepared for, and anticipated.

All of that being said, we are all fine.  We are all adjusting.  The kids have reconnected with their old friends, already have made new friends, and seem to have found their way rather quickly.   They are really happy.   I know there is still a lot ahead for us to navigate.  Kevin's departure to Texas Tech, Sarah and Brian both going to a new High School, Jim's great reduction in travel and his being around more, and my new role as a caregiver for my mom. 

It is our new life.  It is our old-new life.  Our expat life is over.  That life is something few people we meet now will ever know about, will ever ask about, or ever be interested in hearing about.  I am OK with that..really.  The past experiences will never be forgotten and will be relived over and over at the family dinner table and  in our stories with each other.  Our expat friends will remain our expat friends.  I smile when I read of their excitement over their summer visit home.  I will still experience their travels and adventures through Facebook updates and e-mails.  I  will smile as I reflect and remember being an expat.  It is kind of like our little family secret.   Then I will turn off the computer and go about our new-old life here at 'home'. 
     

The Journey

Where one journey ends, another begins.  

In every phase of our lives we make friends.   If you think back on your friends you can actually compartmentalize them.  We have our elementary school friends, our high school friends, our college friends, our work friends, our neighborhood friends, and our married couple friends.  Sometimes these friends can kind of overlap, but usually there are one or two people from each part of your life who stay with you, who remain not just a friend in your life, but your life long friend.  

Being an expat has made it easy to make friends.  We have a common bond.  We not only become friends, but we become each others' family.  We share our happy times, our sad times, our holidays.   We celebrate the accomplishments of our children together as well as hold each other during the difficult and disappointing  days.  We experience a whole new life that really few can understand.    The friendships I have gained being an expat are irreplaceable.  I feel truly blessed to have had this experience and to have given this experience to my children.  To have opened their eyes to a world and lifestyle that I didn't even know existed. 

So thank you to my friends, my fellow expats.   To my first expat friends, Sally and Louise, who taught me how to buy cinnamon in Holland!  To Emily and Trinka who were the lifelines back to my familiar Texas and Naperville life.  And to all my new friends who are TOO many to name.  My friends have taught me how to be an expat.  How to be brave and jump right in.  How to explore, embrace, and love this sometimes scary and frustrating experience.  We have shared so very much.  So many ups and downs.  So many laughs, lunches, tears and travels.   I shall miss you all so much.  My heart hurts to think of leaving you while at the same time leaps at the thought of being back where life is easy and familiar.   I will be following you on facebook and now living vicariously through your travel logs and posts.

For Good....from Wicked

 I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

It well may be,

That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

 

Thank you my friends.......

 

The BEST Travel Agent!

I have the absolute best travel agent.   Hands down, no questions asked, not in the running, not almost, but THE best.  I love him.  I mean I really, really love him.  Over the past four years my travel agent has booked our family vacations to over 16 different countries.  He has put us on buses, trains, segways, bobsleds, skis, and boats.  He knows how to keep a family with three teenagers happy, even when looking at pottery in Poland.  Yup...he is the best.  Sorry though, he is exclusively mine.  My travel agent is Jim, my awesome husband!

Four years ago when Jim asked us if we wanted to move overseas, we were all so excited for the opportunity to be able to travel, see the world, or as many parts of it as our time and budget would allow.  As our expat adventure is coming to an end, we have been spending lots of time reliving our favorite trips.  We are laughing about our favorite and not-so-favorite hotels, restaurants, and outdoor adventures.  Not one trip would any of us describe as bad.  Not one trip would we wish we would have skipped.  Amazingly enough we all agree that we have been very blessed and are very fortunate to have seen so much.  We also agree that Daddy is an amazing trip planner.

This blog contains lots and lots of pictures.  It is my own personal record of the wheres and whens, just in case time sneaks in and tries to make me forget.

August 2008 -  Arrive in Holland.  We lived in a small town, Wassenaar.  It was just outside of Den Haag.

During our October break in 2008, Jim took us to London, Stonehenge, and Cornwall.  We took the Harry Potter Tour, celebrated Sarah's birthday at Longleat and went up in the London Eye.

For Christmas break, 2008, Jim thought it would be great for the kids to learn how to ski and/or snowboard.  We headed to the French Alps (where else?)!  

In February we took a quick trip to Brugge, Belgium.  It was a short ride from home and beautiful.  We had a great time in their ice village. 

 

Spring break in April took us to Normandy.  Sarah and I did NOT want to go; I mean it was all going to be war stuff, right?  Jim pushed through the plans and assured us we would have a great time.  Hate to admit it (ever!), but he was right!  We loved Normandy. 

After our two summer months in the US, we were back in Holland, excited to see what dad had planned next!  For our October break, we headed to Prague.  It was awesome!  We went on segway tours of the city, went bobsledding, and took a detour over to Poland for mom to buy some pottery!  

 Christmas break took us to Rome.  It was just amazing.  This trip definitely ranks in the top three of the Chew family vacations!

 For spring break in April, we headed to Paris.  Jim took a small detour back to Holland for business, so the kids and I forced ourselves to take in EuroDisney!  We LOVE Mickey!

We took another whirlwind summer trip  home, Chicago, Rhode Island, and of course, Texas.  When we returned to Holland, we had just a few short weeks to get the house in order and head east - Middle East that is.  We moved to Dubai in August, 2010.   The summer was hot and it was Eid, so we really could not do that much exploring.  The kids and I took diving lessons and all became certified divers.  We could now add one more activity to the list of things we could do with Daddy!

We had a sudden change in the school calendar and found ourselves with a free week in November.  Jim announced we would be heading to Kenya.  I can not even begin to describe this trip.  We stayed in the most amazing resort with individual cabins (I can't think of a better word) built right into the hillside.  We went on several game drives and our own driver was amazed that we saw so much.  Animals he hadn't seen in months came out for us.  Not sure how Jim arranged that!  

In December we took a trip to Jordan.  It was amazing!  We walked through Petra for hours, floated in the Dead Sea and were able to stand on the very spot where Jesus was baptized.   Perfect Christmas holiday.

Sarah, Brian, and I toured Dubai over our spring break while Jim was working and Kevin was in Sri Lanka with the Habitat for Humanity.  After our two month holiday in the States, we stopped in Barcelona for some much needed family time.  Felt like we hadn't been together on a trip in SO long!   Barcelona was great, although the image of the naked old man on the beach has been burned into Sarah's memory forever! 

Our next school break was at Christmas.  We loaded up the cars, gave Kevin some 'road time' behind the wheel, and headed to Oman.  It was beautiful.  Kevin met up with an old friend he knew in Holland who now lives in Oman.  The rest of us took an amazing dolphin watching boat ride.  Beautiful resort and wonderful family time once again.

Our final expat vacation will be to Edinburgh, Scotland.  When we board the plane after that, the final stop will be Houston, Texas; more commonly called Home.  

While my wonderful travel agent has truly shown us so many amazing places, through school sports, field trips (yes, field trips - Week Without Walls they are called), and a few side trips, one or more of us have had the opportunity to visit Norway, Sweden, Denmark,  Luxembourg, Germany, India, Tanzania, Croatia, Switzerland, Hong Kong, Sri Lanka, Qatar, Portugal, Lebanon, and Singapore.

Thank you to my sweet husband and awesome travel agent.  What a gift you have given to your family.  We can't wait to see what is next....no pressure!!! 

Love Always....

    

It Almost Happened...

This past weekend was Kevin's Senior Prom.  I can write that, say that, look at pictures, and hear all his stories without shedding a tear...but it was close! 

I have some wonderful friends here.  When you are an expat, you automatically have a common bond with so many people.  Making friends is really easy.  You can walk into a room full of people and strike up a conversation because you always have an opening line - "How long have you lived in Dubai?".  Of course there are many other questions that follow quite easily;   "Where are you from?"; "Where did you move from?", and "How long will you be here?".  It is a quick and easy list, but that common bond of being an expat makes friendships grow rapidly.    

I didn't know that I was also entering another realm of friendships this year.  It is the bond of the Senior Mom.  We have spent several months now doing everything we can to make the last year of our childs' primary education a fun and exciting experience.  We have counted down the days till graduation; we have proudly worn T-shirts at school functions that define us as "Senior Moms", we have met monthly to pass out special treats to our kids, and have shared the college application cheers and tears.   It is a friendship bond that I didn't expect.  It has been an incredibly pleasant surprise. 

For months now I have heard my Senior Mom friends talk about happenings that have brought them to tears.  There was the first and then the last soccer game (or volleyball game, baseball game, or race).  There was the UCC - Ultimate Class Competition - a field day competition for the 9th-12th grades.  The musical, the final school carnival, and then the first college acceptance.  There have been so many events that have brought my dear friends to tears.  There also have been a variety of songs that seem to have the same effect.  We share all of these moments through facebook status updates, and discuss them thoroughly at lunch.    So I have to admit that nothing this year has made me cry...yet.  No song, no final event or final school celebration.  Not even decorating the hallway for the seniors brought a tear.  But, then we came to the Senior Prom.

This past weekend Kevin put on his new suit, picked up the corsage he had ordered for his date, and made plans for his night out on the town with his peers.  I was great with all the plans; told him how great he looked; took pictures.  Then, the drive to the Pre-Prom happened.  Every year an ASD family hosts a party for all the Seniors, their dates, and their families.  On the way to pre-prom it hit me.  This was Kevin's SENIOR PROM!  Seriously!   I looked at Kevin and just said, "This is your Senior Prom!".  He answered, "yea, I know".  No big deal to him.  I felt like I just had my breath taken away.  Kevin kept staring at me while I was driving and asking if I was OK.  Of course I was, but this was Senior Prom.  We arrived at the Pre-Prom party, went inside where I found all my Senior Mom friends.  I immediately informed them this was "Senior Prom!"  They laughed, said they knew, and just kept snapping pictures of these amazingly beautiful young ladies and young men.

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.  A tear never hit my cheek, but it was pretty darn close.  Kevin seemed to take great pleasure in telling his friends that I was finally crying.  No song, no other event, no college planning has made me cry.  But the Senior Prom.  That just about did it!    I think Kevin wants me to cry.  He keeps asking me if I'll cry at graduation.  I just don't know.  I am so happy for him, for all he has become, and for the marvelous future that lies before him.   Cry at graduation?  I just don't know...is that something I have to plan now?  I'll work on it!

Kevin and all of the Class of 2012 graduates.  Enjoy these final days, these final moments.  Know the tears that have been shed all year are truly tears of happiness and joy.  They are tears of pride for who you have become and tears of joyful anticipation for all that you will be. 
   

 

3,840 Lunches

I have packed 3,840 school lunches - so far.  I started thinking about my kids lunches last week when I realized that Kevin will be going off to college soon and I would only pull out two brown paper bags every morning instead of three.  OK, I know, I am thinking about weird things as I prepare myself for Kevin's departure to the far away world of university living, but I think that is what "senior moms" (as we call ourselves) do.

There are an estimated 180 school days every year.  This is broken down over a 36 week period.  My kids were always allowed to buy lunch one day a week.  On the occasional week, two days.  There are also the special days when I would bring in McDonalds or they would have a pizza party in the room.  So. I have averaged 128 lunches a year for Kevin's 12 years, Sarah's 10 years, and Brian's 8.  Total:  3, 840 lunches! 

So the lunchtime adventure began.  My kids grew up in the world of half-day kindergarten.  This was before the 5 year olds spent an entire day at school, without a nap but with an IPad!  How old fashioned that seems right now.  When Kevin started 1st grade at Cline Elementary in Friendswood, Texas, he wanted the same thing for lunch EVERY SINGLE DAY!  I know your mind is quickly jumping to PB&J right?  That is what all kids want.  But no, not Kevin.  Kevin wanted a tuna fish sandwich on white bread.  Tuna - right from the can.  No mixing with celery, mayo, and onion.  No mixing with anything.  Just a can of tuna on bread.  I would go to Sam's Club - warehouse shop - and buy the tuna in bulk!  My pantry was stacked with those little Starkist cans.  It was quick and easy - but a little odd! 

As Kevin grew his palate expanded, Sarah and Brian's lunch were put in the mix, and we progressed through the land of ham and cheese, turkey and cheese, just cheese, chicken quesadillas (yes, really), salads, grilled cheese, and Luchables.  This year, as an 18 year old high school senior, and 12 years later, Kevin has finally arrived at the world renowed PB&J for lunch.  It took years to get here, but he has arrived!  

These are pretty odd things to think about I guess.  Some people also think it is odd that I still pack my kids' lunches, but it is just what I do.  It is a mom thing!  I remember when they were little and I would cut their sandwiches into shapes.  I had quite the collection of really big cookie cutters.  I would send in hearts, stars, diamonds, flowers.  It was so darn cute!  AND it was the best way to take the crusts off their bread.  (BTW - the old wives tale is true; if you don't eat your crusts you will never be able to whistle!)  I would also put little notes in the bags or boxes.  The simple "I love you" or "have a great day" or just a smiley face note was always a hit.

I began with one lunch bag, then two years later, two bags and yet another two years later, three bags.  They have lined the kitchen counter in five different houses every morning, left to right, oldest child to youngest child for years.  Next year will be odd.  I will only pack two bags.  I only have 768 lunches left to pack.  We will be at another new school - this is school number 7 for us.  Will those kids bring lunch or buy?  The burning question awaits!  I can hardly wait to find out.

  

Spring Break (s)!

I don't know if it is because we are getting ready to move back to The States, because Kevin is getting ready to graduate, or because of the new facebook timeline, but my kids have been looking at old pictures A LOT lately.  They have pulled out the CD's - before I simply loaded pictures right to the computer - and have been sharing lots of stories of our pre-expat days!   Some of the best memories are of our family vacations in the US.  These vacations always consisted of either trips to visit family or trips to Disney - sometimes World sometimes Land.  Their reminiscing, of course, started me thinking about all our family trips too.  What awesome times we have had. 

We started planning our spring break way back in October.  Where, when, for how long???  Of course I had never imagined that our break would take my family in three different directions.  This year Kevin took a "senior trip" with some friends.  They ventured to Beruit, Lebanon - guy time!  Sarah took a trip to China with the Habitat for Humanity.  They flew in to Hong Kong and took trains and buses to their remote village, of which I can not think of the name.  Jim, Brian and I, left on our own, decided to take a trip to South Africa.  The boys went on safari...no, not the photographic kind.  I was left to take a few excursions on my own - ride an elephant, take pictures of wild animals, and actually read a book (one with no pictures!).

Everyone had a great time.  Everyone arrived home safe and sound and full of stories.  The first night together back home it was kind of like a "can you top this?" conversation.  Jim and I just sat and laughed as everyone shared their most colorful versions of spring break.  There were stories of wild animals, of creepy crawling things seeping through bare feet in the rice fields, and of boys to men stories which I will not share! 

I listened so intently to these stories and just marveled at what my children have done.  Just a few short years ago I never, ever would have imagined that my family would spend their vacation in three different countries!  I never thought we'd get anywhere besides Disney; and I was OK with that.  But now we dream of where we want to go next.  What part of the world we did not see yet. What experiences are my young adults putting on their bucket lists?  These are lists I know they will have to revise over and over again as the years continue. 

What a great break.  What great breaks we all had.  I can only shake my head and smile.  Maybe all of this is a dream, or better yet, maybe this is one of Disney's really great animatronics!!  Ready to go on this ride again!   

The New Road

I LOVE the new road.  The new road is a quick way to get to school.  The new road is safe for Kevin to drive on because it has a lot less traffic.  The new road makes it SO easy to go to Spinneys.  I just LOVE the new road.  The new road is the road behind the Meadows.  They are putting a walkway over the new road so people don't have to dodge traffic to get to the grocery store.   It is a wonderful road.  The new road is now my favorite travel route in Dubai.  Unfortunately, I can't tell you how to get to my house on the new road; or how to get to school on the new road because the new road does not have a name.  Just like so many other roads in Dubai.  The new road has been open for several months now and remains unnamed!  Take THAT navigation system!  

Getting around Dubai can be a little bit of a challenge!  OK, that statement alone comes with a smirk!  A little challenge?!   When we arrived in Dubai, Jim took several days away from the office to teach me how to drive here.  How to get to the school, the grocery store, the all important mall.  He drove me to those places a few times, then he drove with me a few times....then it was time for a solo adventure!   Now, almost two years later, I can go anywhere!  Driving here for the first time was just as exciting as putting gas in the car for the first time in Holland, but that is another story!  

We bought a GPS (navigation system) when we arrived here.  I had relied so heavily upon that little black box while living in Europe, I knew I needed it here.  The first time out of the box, the lovely british voice on the GPS was telling me where to go.  After following her directions ever so carefully she surprisingly said "make a "U" turn".  She would then take me back in the opposite direction and suddenly yell out - "recalculating route" as if I had done something wrong.  I must admit that my favorite phrase is "follow the direction of the road" - as opposed to what??  After a few adventures with her, I wanted to tell her where to go! 

So in this little emirate (I did not call it a country!) that boasts the tallest building in the world; the biggest shopping mall in the world, and is ready to host the biggest horse race in the world, you can't find your way around because while they were busy building these wonderful, beautiful, architecturally amazing buildings, they forgot to print up street signs!

I have learned my way around through the wonderful directions that men think women love! They go something like this:  "take Al Wasl road until the gas station with the Subway, turn right and go to the second street with the big tree, then turn left at the yellow house with all the flower pots in front.   Then I'll be the 3rd villa on the right!"    I've got it!

You can actually tell how long someone has lived in Dubai by some of the directions they give  If they tell you to exit Sheik Zayed (SZ) at interchange 3, you know they have lived here for at least 6 years.   The GPS continues to tell you to exit SZ at specific interchanges.  The exit ramps no longer refer to the roads as interchanges, the main roads actually have names.  Most of them begin with "Al", which in the  beginning made me think that "Al" was an even more popular name here than Mohammad.  I have since learned differently!

So, come to Dubai.  Rent a car!  Enjoy the adventure!  Experience my new road.  You can find it by taking the road that runs through the middle of the Meadows past the new Enoc gas station and making a left at the dead end!

Maris

Living in Dubai is very different than any other place I've ever lived.  It is kind of pretty, kind of not.  It is a big city, but not a bustling metropolis like Chicago or New York.  There are many adjustments to be made when moving to Dubai.  Aside from the obvious adjustment of living in a Muslim country, you have to get used to the heat.  You have to get used to driving in totally insane conditions, and you have to get used to not being able to find what you want, when you want it, in the stores.  Those are probably the major drawbacks about being here

On the upside, you have sunshine 99.9% of the time.  No real need to look out your window in the morning to see what the weather is ilke!  The kids go to a wonderful international school with kids from over 60 countries; this has expanded their view of the world dramatically.   And, you have people who want to wait on you - EVERYWHERE!  When grocery shopping they unload your shopping cart, ring up your order, bag your groceries and then put them in the car for you!   And my personal favorite - they pump your gas for you!  What a treat!

So today I write about Maris.  Maris is our live-in housekeeper.  When we first moved here, we were a little undecided about whether to have live-in help or not.   It is more common than not to have live-in help.  Some expats have a maid, a cook, a nanny AND a driver!  Us, well we have Maris!  

Maris is Filipina.  She is in her late 40's and came to Dubai six years ago  She has a husband and a son in the Philippines.  Maris came here to work after her husband lost his job in construction.  Maris is working to put her son through college; he graduates at the end of March!  Maris is also a new grandmother.   Her grandson is 9 months old.  She has not seen him yet and will not see him until he is almost two.
 

So what does Maris do?  Hmmm..what does Maris NOT do?   Maris gets up every morning and starts working at 6 AM.  She starts everyday by unloading the dishwasher and cleaning the kitchen from whatever mess we made the prior evening.  Then Maris whistles for the dogs to come downstairs.  They run to her!   Then she walks them while I get the kids ready and off to school.  Maris does the laundry, irons everything, cleans the house, washes the cars, tends to the dogs, cleans the windows,water the flowers and pulls weeds when she is bored!  Maris ends her day at 6 PM by taking the dogs out for their final walk.  

Twelve hour days, six days a week.  Wow!   I mean, really, can you imagine?!  At the end of the day Maris goes  to her room inside of our house.  It is a small room, but according to Maris it is bigger than her last.  She has a bed, dresser, table and stool, and an armoire that we gave her.  This is where Maris spends her evenings and her days off.  

I feel truly spoiled by having Maris work for us!  So how do I think Maris likes it here?  Well, it is really hard for me to say.  If you ask her, she'll tell you she likes it.   To Maris being able to go home once a year is a luxury.  Most contracts here with the workers are written so that they are permitted to go home once every two years - if they have the money.  The housemaids have it in their contract that the employer pays the airfare for them to go home every two years, but most North American expats send their help home annually.  

Last week Maris told me that one of our neighbors - a man we have not yet - hollered at her while she was walking the dogs.  My little dog, Rascal, likes to bark at other dogs. Period.  He doesn't bark at people, try to attack them, or cause any general disturbance.  He is 8 lbs of hair that like to hear his voice when there is another dog in the area.  He is boss!  So, while Maris was walking Rascal past our neighbors' villa, this man came out of the driveway and hollered at Maris, telling her to keep the dog away from his son.  He proceeded to tell her that if the dog bit his son, he would see that she goes to prison.  Maris was quite shaken when she told me.  She did not, and had not, had the dog by the little boy; she was simply walking by.  Oh, and the family has two kids and two nannies, both who are attached to the kids when they are outside, so really no danger for the dog to get at the boy, no matter how much he wanted!  The man went on to question her as to why she even walks the dog - she simply replied that it is her job.  

Anyway, Maris was pretty upset when she told me what happened.    I told her that if he approached her again, she needs to just tell him to come talk to her employer.  I apologized to Maris, but still felt so bad.  I told her that the man would never talk to me that way and the only reason why he spoke to her, was because of who she was and where she was from.  She understood, but it has to be a difficult thing to really grasp. 

This exchange caused me to really look around; I mean physically look around.  This country is filled with people from all over the world.  There is a definite ranking system here. The locals are at the top, way at the top.  Then there are the  Americans and Brits, then there are the other expats, and then after an incredibly expansive gap the philippeana, pakistani, and sri lankan workers.   I read in a book how as expats we learn to “edit out” the workers.   How we get to the point where we don't even notice them and they blend into the landscape of Dubai.  

So today I started watching and noticing.    I watched the gardener working ever so tediously in my yard.  He actually cuts the weeds out of the lawn with a little pocket knife, inch by inch.  I watched the eight buses pick up the construction workers from the building project in the front of the neighborhood.  I watched the man whose sole job is to wipe and polish the stainless steel railings on our bridges.  I noticed the four men who come to the same spot every day with brooms and brush the boulders in the waterfall, trying to keep them algae free.   Then I watched the many workers lay on the grass at noon and sleep.  This is the life of many of these workers.  They come here, work 12 hour days, nap on the grass when they have a break.  I do think that most are very grateful for the opportunity to work.  They are considered the lucky ones from their home towns.  They are the heroes when they go home to visit.  They are the sole provider for extended families.  Every penny that can be spared is sent home.  Do you know Maris has never been to the movies?  She wouldn’t think of spending money on something so frivolous.  

As I look at them, the lucky ones, I can’t help but notice the sullen faces.  Their definition of luck is certainly different than mine.  I am truly the lucky one.  Not only am I pampered, but now I truly see everything around me.   My ability to ‘edit’ has been changed.  There are no long people blending into the landscape, but people working hard to make the place where I live beautiful.   Thank you Maris..

Around town.

We have been in Dubai for almost two years.  There are things about Dubai that I absolutely LOVE....the sun shines 99% of the time, they pump your gas for you, when you go to the movies, you get to preselect your seats, and the views of the city are just beautiful.  There are things about Dubai that I absolutely hate...the driving is scary, finding things in the grocery store is challenging, and the dust and sand can find it's way into any house.  Then there are things that are confusing...I will share these things in the form of pictures!

Target.  The place Americans love, miss, and dream about.  But WAIT!  We do have a Target - see the sign in the distance?

Before you get too excited though...Dubai Target is a little different than what we are used to!

If you find yourself truly disappointed, you can always go to the saloon.  Don't look there for a glass of wine though!  Simply pampering.

Or, you can walk around one of the many malls.  Some of them are really big, but don't worry, if you get lost, they'll tell you right where you are!

You do have to be careful driving here.  Lots of road work.  They do have helpful signs though.  

If you are looking to party, you can find places to go, just not this place!

You can even have a Happy Meal.  Too bad Waldo wasn't invited! 

We have great service people here too.  These guys usually have lots of open appointments! 

So if you are looking for a new place to settle down....Dubai is GREAT!

One of THOSE days!

Did you ever have one of those days?  I mean, a day where you really shouldn't complain, nothing has gone tragically wrong, everyone is healthy and happy, safe and sound, but you still just want to slap someone?!   Well, today was one of those days.

It all really started about 3 weeks ago.  OK,  not about 3 weeks ago, exactly 3 weeks ago.  It all started on January 25.  I received a recorded message from Chase bank.  Of course this call was received in the middle of the night since they are calling from Houston and just can't figure out that nasty time change.  Well, the call informed my..via recorded message ...that my account may have been compromised and they are cancelling my debit card.  The friendly voice on the phone said they would be mailing a new card in 7-10 business days.   Thus began the fun!  I called Chase the next morning and informed them that they could not mail me a new card, that the card needed to be sent via courier (Fed Ex, DHL, UPS) because Dubai does not have home mail delivery.  The friendly man on the other end of the phone informed me he would put all that information in the record and that they would send the card via one of those couriers.  Yea!  So easy! 

Well, as the weeks have gone on I have made 3 more calls to Chase Bank.  I have been trying to track down my new debit card.  During one call, when I asked how the new card was shipped to me, the friendly blond lady on the phone (pretty sure she was blond) told me the card was sent in a white envelope with a window in it!  (See what I mean!) 

I have come to find out through many expensive phone calls that Chase has mailed my card - US mail (evidently in a nice white, window envelope!)   Now, all of us living in the UAE know that this card is now in the great expanse of the desert and will never be seen again. 

My last phone call and written e-mail correspondence instructed me to FAX -- yes FAX -- in a letter asking them to courier a new card.  I have been told that because of all the trouble (who's trouble?), that they can not take an e-mail, it must be a FAX.    OK..I'm getting to today now!

SO, I wrote a lovely letter instructing Chase to ship me a card - any kind of envelope will do, as long as it is sent via an international courier service!   When I took Brian to the doctor today, I saw a little office sign at the gas station.  It said they have e-mail, bill pay, and FAX!  Yea!  This isn't so bad.  I drove over, went inside and was greeted by three lovely young ladies.  "Good Morning, Madam"..three times over!   I gave a wonderful greeting back and told them I needed to send a FAX.  They smiled so sweetly and said their fax machine is broken.  When asked if they knew of another location to send a fax, well, I won't continue, you know the answer.  Away I went! 

Later today as I drove to the gas station to get Wendy's for Brian (yes, I buy lunch at gas stations now), I saw the sign on the shop of the station.  It said 'FAX'.  I was so happy!  I went in, told the man at the counter I needed to send a FAX.  He told me they don't send faxes there.  Since I was standing next to the sign that read "FAX", I questioned him, pointed to the word "FAX" - as if that would help - and said "it says FAX".  He told me they don't have a phone in the gas station and you need a phone for a FAX machine.  Oh...silly me.

So, tonight I went into Kevin's room.  I happened to look at his new printer.  It has a button labeled FAX!  Oh my, I have been driving all over and I have a fax machine in the house.  I moved Kevin's dresser, unplugged the wires from the machine, unplugged the machine from the wall and carried it to my bedroom.  I know that sounds romantic, but that is really just the only place in the house that has a telephone line connected.  I was so happy to have solved my own problem.  I moved my bed, unplugged my phone line from the wall, unplugged my lamp and reconnected Kevin's printer.   YEA!  DONE!!  Then this beeping noise and a message "Printer out of ink. Replace cartridge before you fax something you idiot!"   OK, I am exaggerating just a little here, but I think you get my point - no fax!  

It is 9:50  PM.  I run to the garage, jump in my car and zoom over to Spinney's hoping to find a printer cartridge. I am determined to get this FAX out today.  Well, surprise surprise!  No ink cartridges at Spinneys.  You knew that was how the story was going to end, right!? 

As I get back in my car to drive home, I begin to laugh.  I mean, what else can I do?  I begin my nighttime prayers early.  I thank God for the wonderful day.  I thank him for keeping us all healthy and safe.  I thank him for the opportunity to experience life as an expat.  AND,  I thank him for giving me a sense of humor.  Without it, I'm pretty sure I'd be kicking dogs, growling at kittens, and eating an entire row of mint cookies.

Tomorrow is another day - fax machines of the world...LOOK OUT!