From the time our children are born we teach them how to do things on their own. We clap and cheer when they take their first steps. We are so delighted when they can feed themselves, and we are over the moon when they learn to use the potty! Woohoo! Our baby is growing up. While it is wonderful to celebrate their learning to be independent, there comes a day when it all comes back to haunt you......welcome to the College Drop Off!
Kevin is now a freshman at Texas Tech. His senior year at ASD was so much fun. The parents (read moms) were awesome. Together the Senior Moms planned get togethers, passed out treats, and held celebrations for our kids. We were so excited for them to finish high school. As the Senior Year drew to a close, the moms became more and more sensitive. A song on the radio could bring a tear. I, however, never shed a one. Kevin was quite disappointed that I did not cry as he tried on his graduation gown, as he took his Senior Picture, and has he walked down the aisle of the auditorium. He kept asking me if I was going to be sad at his leaving for college. Silly boy...he ended up with more than he bargained for!
As our children grow and begin to demonstrate their independence, we are really happy for them and for ourselves. We love that we can leave them alone overnight while going out for a grown-up date night. While we begin the driving process with extreme fear, we quickly learn to rely on our new driver. They can take themselves to their own events and also help transport the siblings all over town. Another Woohoo moment!
Their personal milestones are also our milestones. We are proud of ourselves for raising independent young adults.
Then, the go away.....
We brought Kevin to Freshman check-in this past weekend. I was prepared both mentally and physically. I knew we would be carrying LOTS of stuff to his room (that is the physical). From listening to my sister and my friends with kids in college, I knew Kevin would not want us hanging around. He would want to set up his room on his own (that is the mental). OK - I am ready - Let's Go!
We carried all of his 'stuff' to his college dorm room. It was shocking to me how used it looked. I knew the rooms would be small, even though Kevin is in a large suite in the Honors dorm. But I expected it to be new, clean, and fresh; just like my freshman. Instead it was old, used, and a bit dusty. Didn't seem to bother Kevin a bit. His eyes focused on HIS place. His first home away from home. His first step out of our nest. We delivered all of his items, asked what he needed help with. I was grateful that I was asked to put together his bed. See...he still needs me. Kevin and Jim began assembling shelves. They are the kind that don't even need tools. Within minutes I heard Kevin saying..."no dad, I got it, I can do it". Jim quickly backed down, understanding this new attitude and took a seat only to observe. The decision was made that Jim and Kevin could put together things for the room, but not together! Jim had his projects and Kevin had his. When it was all said and done, I asked how else we could help. Put clothes in the closet, unpack a box, hang the shower curtain. Again those words rang in my ears...."I got it. I can do it."
This little boy who I had proudly raised to be an independent young man was ready. Ready to fly. Ready to be on his own. Ready to conquer the world, make new friends and (in the words of my now favorite son, Brian) ready to start the first chapter in his own book. Where, I wonder, is my woohoo? Why are there tears in the place of cheers? He has become the strong person I wanted. QUICK! Let's rewind and knock him down when he starts taking his first steps. Let's tell him "NO" when he picks up a spoon, and....ok, I'll let the potty training progress as planned! Let's just slow down time a little.
Jim and I stopped by Kevin's room before leaving town the next day. Kevin had spent the night before setting everything up. He was so proud, so excited. It was his own. As we said our good-byes, the tears poured out. Not a pretty, TV actress cry, but a puffy, red-eyed cry. I gave Kevin a hug and just never wanted to let go. But I did. I let go. I told him how proud of him I am. How I know he will do great. How I know he will love being in college and will face every challenge head-on. Then I told him I am just a phone call away....just in case.
He got it. He can do it. Jim and I are proud knowing we raised him to be this strong, independent young man. I just wish we didn't do it so fast.
Kevin is now a freshman at Texas Tech. His senior year at ASD was so much fun. The parents (read moms) were awesome. Together the Senior Moms planned get togethers, passed out treats, and held celebrations for our kids. We were so excited for them to finish high school. As the Senior Year drew to a close, the moms became more and more sensitive. A song on the radio could bring a tear. I, however, never shed a one. Kevin was quite disappointed that I did not cry as he tried on his graduation gown, as he took his Senior Picture, and has he walked down the aisle of the auditorium. He kept asking me if I was going to be sad at his leaving for college. Silly boy...he ended up with more than he bargained for!
As our children grow and begin to demonstrate their independence, we are really happy for them and for ourselves. We love that we can leave them alone overnight while going out for a grown-up date night. While we begin the driving process with extreme fear, we quickly learn to rely on our new driver. They can take themselves to their own events and also help transport the siblings all over town. Another Woohoo moment!
Their personal milestones are also our milestones. We are proud of ourselves for raising independent young adults.
Then, the go away.....
We brought Kevin to Freshman check-in this past weekend. I was prepared both mentally and physically. I knew we would be carrying LOTS of stuff to his room (that is the physical). From listening to my sister and my friends with kids in college, I knew Kevin would not want us hanging around. He would want to set up his room on his own (that is the mental). OK - I am ready - Let's Go!
We carried all of his 'stuff' to his college dorm room. It was shocking to me how used it looked. I knew the rooms would be small, even though Kevin is in a large suite in the Honors dorm. But I expected it to be new, clean, and fresh; just like my freshman. Instead it was old, used, and a bit dusty. Didn't seem to bother Kevin a bit. His eyes focused on HIS place. His first home away from home. His first step out of our nest. We delivered all of his items, asked what he needed help with. I was grateful that I was asked to put together his bed. See...he still needs me. Kevin and Jim began assembling shelves. They are the kind that don't even need tools. Within minutes I heard Kevin saying..."no dad, I got it, I can do it". Jim quickly backed down, understanding this new attitude and took a seat only to observe. The decision was made that Jim and Kevin could put together things for the room, but not together! Jim had his projects and Kevin had his. When it was all said and done, I asked how else we could help. Put clothes in the closet, unpack a box, hang the shower curtain. Again those words rang in my ears...."I got it. I can do it."
This little boy who I had proudly raised to be an independent young man was ready. Ready to fly. Ready to be on his own. Ready to conquer the world, make new friends and (in the words of my now favorite son, Brian) ready to start the first chapter in his own book. Where, I wonder, is my woohoo? Why are there tears in the place of cheers? He has become the strong person I wanted. QUICK! Let's rewind and knock him down when he starts taking his first steps. Let's tell him "NO" when he picks up a spoon, and....ok, I'll let the potty training progress as planned! Let's just slow down time a little.
Jim and I stopped by Kevin's room before leaving town the next day. Kevin had spent the night before setting everything up. He was so proud, so excited. It was his own. As we said our good-byes, the tears poured out. Not a pretty, TV actress cry, but a puffy, red-eyed cry. I gave Kevin a hug and just never wanted to let go. But I did. I let go. I told him how proud of him I am. How I know he will do great. How I know he will love being in college and will face every challenge head-on. Then I told him I am just a phone call away....just in case.
He got it. He can do it. Jim and I are proud knowing we raised him to be this strong, independent young man. I just wish we didn't do it so fast.
