"I got it! I can do it!"

From the time our children are born we teach them how to do things on their own.  We clap and cheer when they take their first steps.  We are so delighted when they can feed themselves, and we are over the  moon when they learn to use the potty!  Woohoo!  Our baby is growing up.   While it is wonderful to celebrate their learning to be independent, there comes a day when it all comes back to haunt you......welcome to the College Drop Off!

Kevin is now a freshman at Texas Tech.  His senior year at ASD was so much fun.  The parents (read moms) were awesome.  Together the Senior Moms planned get togethers, passed out treats, and held celebrations for our kids.  We were so excited for them to finish high school.  As the Senior Year drew to a close, the moms became more and more sensitive.  A song on the radio could bring a tear.  I, however, never shed a one.  Kevin was quite disappointed that I did not cry as he tried on his graduation gown, as he took his Senior Picture, and has he walked down the aisle of the auditorium.  He kept asking me if I was going to be sad at his leaving for college.  Silly boy...he ended up with more than he bargained for!
 
As our children grow and begin to demonstrate their independence, we are really happy for them and for ourselves.   We love that we can leave them alone overnight while going out for a grown-up date night.  While we begin the driving process with extreme fear, we quickly learn to rely on our new driver.  They can take themselves to their own events and also help transport the siblings all over town.  Another Woohoo moment!
Their personal milestones are also our milestones.  We are proud of ourselves for raising independent young adults.  

Then, the go away.....

We brought Kevin to Freshman check-in this past weekend.  I was prepared both mentally and physically.  I knew we would be carrying LOTS of stuff to his room (that is the physical).   From listening to my sister and my friends with kids in college, I knew Kevin would not want us hanging around.  He would want to set up his room on his own (that is the mental).  OK - I am ready - Let's Go!

We carried all of his 'stuff' to his college dorm room.  It was shocking to me how used it looked.  I knew the rooms would be small, even though Kevin is in a large suite in the Honors dorm.  But I expected it to be new, clean, and fresh; just like my freshman.  Instead it was old, used, and a bit dusty.  Didn't seem to bother Kevin a bit.  His eyes focused on HIS place.  His first home away from home.  His first step out of our nest.  We delivered all of his items, asked what he needed help with.  I was grateful that I was asked to put together his bed.  See...he still needs me.  Kevin and Jim began assembling shelves.  They are the kind that don't even need tools.  Within minutes I heard Kevin saying..."no dad, I got it, I can do it".   Jim quickly backed down, understanding this new attitude and took a seat only to observe.  The decision was made that Jim and Kevin could put together things for the room, but not together!  Jim had his projects and Kevin had his.  When it was all said and done, I asked how else we could help.  Put clothes in the closet, unpack a box, hang the shower curtain.  Again those words rang in my ears...."I got it.  I can do it."

This little boy who I had proudly raised to be an independent young man was ready.  Ready to fly.  Ready to be on his own.  Ready to conquer the world, make new friends and (in the words of my now favorite son, Brian) ready to start the first chapter in his own book.   Where, I wonder, is my woohoo?  Why are there tears in the place of cheers?   He has become the strong person I wanted.  QUICK!  Let's rewind and knock him down when he starts taking his first steps.  Let's tell him "NO" when he picks up a spoon, and....ok, I'll let the potty training progress as planned!  Let's just slow down time a little.

Jim and I stopped by Kevin's room before leaving town the next day.  Kevin had spent the night before setting everything up.  He was so proud, so excited.  It was his own.  As we said our good-byes, the tears poured out.  Not a pretty, TV actress cry, but a puffy, red-eyed cry.  I gave Kevin a hug and just never wanted to let go.   But I did.   I let go.  I told him how proud of him I am.  How I know he will do great.  How I know he will love being in college and will face every challenge head-on.   Then I told him I am just a phone call away....just in case. 

He got it.  He can do it.  Jim and I are proud knowing we raised him to be this strong, independent young man.  I just wish we didn't do it so fast. 

Our Repatriation

When I hear the word "repatriate" my mind translates to THE Patriots and I automatically picture Jim's favorite football team or the old soldiers in the heavy blue wool uniforms.  No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to relate 'that' word to moving back home.   Repatriate?  Hmmm....maybe that is what is causing my odd reaction to our arriving back in the US.  If it were only that simple!

I have read so much about repatriating.  I have read books and articles and attended lectures all in preparation for this major event.  I have prepared myself and my children for the emotional roller coaster that we were about to board.  I have told them we would experience the same feelings as when we first became expats.  We would be excited, go through the "honeymoon" stage where every shopping trip, grocery store visit, and drive down the street is just wonderful.  We would then need to be prepared for the difficult adjustment of blending in with our 'old' friends, our new friends, and the return to a home town situation that is the same, but very different.  We were prepared....we were ready...bring it on.

As the time to move back to the US drew closer, I would dream of our arrival back at Intercontinental Airport in Houston.  I imagined getting off of the plane, jumping into each others' arms and crying with the tears of extreme happiness and excitement.  In the final weeks of our Dubai assignment, everytime I heard the song "Wave Your Flag" I would cry.  Oh, how I missed our flag and how I could not wait to see it hung so proudly everywhere you looked.  So much joy was just around the corner.   

As we began our "final descent into Houston", I did begin to cry.  I was not crying those tears of joy and excitement though.  The tears were of sadness of what I had left behind in my "expat" life.  I immediately missed Dubai, our incredible school, and the wonderful friends I had made over the past two years.  Those friends were our family for the past two years.  I already missed them.    When we entered the airport, there were not flags everywhere, just people.  People in regular clothes, people who looked like us; the sea of women in  black and men in white was gone.  Instead of feeling overwhelming happiness, I felt out of place, a little confused.  I just felt like maybe I didn't belong.   I was now looking at Houston through critical eyes.  The billboards, the one little mall in town, and the lack of shine and sparkle....they were all gone.  What in the world was happening to me?  Why wasn't I bubbling with pride over being home?   I still just don't get it.  The books SAID I would be excited.  They SAID I would feel overwhelming happiness...before the sadness.  They said this and that and I believed them! 

The past two weeks have been filled with car shopping, phone shopping, and sending Sarah off to camp.  The weeks have also been filled with the reality that I have an aging mother who needs a lot of care.   It has been busy.  It has been overwhelming.  It has been reality.  Just saying that outloud makes me reflect on the past four years and what a dream they have been.  For four years we have traveled the world, met people from everywhere, and experienced things I never even dreamed of.   We truly have lived in a dream world.  We were not living a true reality. 

Being an expat made us special, made us different.  It gave you an opening line with everyone you meet.  When people asked you where you live, how cool to say "Dubai".  WOW...impressive.  Our summers were spent shopping for the items we missed, the clothes we couldn't find (at reasonable prices), and reconnecting and sharing stories with our friends and family.  Then before you knew it, off we would go, back to dreamland.  Back to the place where you miss home, miss conveniences, but are feeling such excitement over the experiences before you.  This is not the repatriation I was promised!  This is not the feeling I expected, prepared for, and anticipated.

All of that being said, we are all fine.  We are all adjusting.  The kids have reconnected with their old friends, already have made new friends, and seem to have found their way rather quickly.   They are really happy.   I know there is still a lot ahead for us to navigate.  Kevin's departure to Texas Tech, Sarah and Brian both going to a new High School, Jim's great reduction in travel and his being around more, and my new role as a caregiver for my mom. 

It is our new life.  It is our old-new life.  Our expat life is over.  That life is something few people we meet now will ever know about, will ever ask about, or ever be interested in hearing about.  I am OK with that..really.  The past experiences will never be forgotten and will be relived over and over at the family dinner table and  in our stories with each other.  Our expat friends will remain our expat friends.  I smile when I read of their excitement over their summer visit home.  I will still experience their travels and adventures through Facebook updates and e-mails.  I  will smile as I reflect and remember being an expat.  It is kind of like our little family secret.   Then I will turn off the computer and go about our new-old life here at 'home'. 
     

The Journey

Where one journey ends, another begins.  

In every phase of our lives we make friends.   If you think back on your friends you can actually compartmentalize them.  We have our elementary school friends, our high school friends, our college friends, our work friends, our neighborhood friends, and our married couple friends.  Sometimes these friends can kind of overlap, but usually there are one or two people from each part of your life who stay with you, who remain not just a friend in your life, but your life long friend.  

Being an expat has made it easy to make friends.  We have a common bond.  We not only become friends, but we become each others' family.  We share our happy times, our sad times, our holidays.   We celebrate the accomplishments of our children together as well as hold each other during the difficult and disappointing  days.  We experience a whole new life that really few can understand.    The friendships I have gained being an expat are irreplaceable.  I feel truly blessed to have had this experience and to have given this experience to my children.  To have opened their eyes to a world and lifestyle that I didn't even know existed. 

So thank you to my friends, my fellow expats.   To my first expat friends, Sally and Louise, who taught me how to buy cinnamon in Holland!  To Emily and Trinka who were the lifelines back to my familiar Texas and Naperville life.  And to all my new friends who are TOO many to name.  My friends have taught me how to be an expat.  How to be brave and jump right in.  How to explore, embrace, and love this sometimes scary and frustrating experience.  We have shared so very much.  So many ups and downs.  So many laughs, lunches, tears and travels.   I shall miss you all so much.  My heart hurts to think of leaving you while at the same time leaps at the thought of being back where life is easy and familiar.   I will be following you on facebook and now living vicariously through your travel logs and posts.

For Good....from Wicked

 I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

It well may be,

That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

 

Thank you my friends.......

 

The BEST Travel Agent!

I have the absolute best travel agent.   Hands down, no questions asked, not in the running, not almost, but THE best.  I love him.  I mean I really, really love him.  Over the past four years my travel agent has booked our family vacations to over 16 different countries.  He has put us on buses, trains, segways, bobsleds, skis, and boats.  He knows how to keep a family with three teenagers happy, even when looking at pottery in Poland.  Yup...he is the best.  Sorry though, he is exclusively mine.  My travel agent is Jim, my awesome husband!

Four years ago when Jim asked us if we wanted to move overseas, we were all so excited for the opportunity to be able to travel, see the world, or as many parts of it as our time and budget would allow.  As our expat adventure is coming to an end, we have been spending lots of time reliving our favorite trips.  We are laughing about our favorite and not-so-favorite hotels, restaurants, and outdoor adventures.  Not one trip would any of us describe as bad.  Not one trip would we wish we would have skipped.  Amazingly enough we all agree that we have been very blessed and are very fortunate to have seen so much.  We also agree that Daddy is an amazing trip planner.

This blog contains lots and lots of pictures.  It is my own personal record of the wheres and whens, just in case time sneaks in and tries to make me forget.

August 2008 -  Arrive in Holland.  We lived in a small town, Wassenaar.  It was just outside of Den Haag.

During our October break in 2008, Jim took us to London, Stonehenge, and Cornwall.  We took the Harry Potter Tour, celebrated Sarah's birthday at Longleat and went up in the London Eye.

For Christmas break, 2008, Jim thought it would be great for the kids to learn how to ski and/or snowboard.  We headed to the French Alps (where else?)!  

In February we took a quick trip to Brugge, Belgium.  It was a short ride from home and beautiful.  We had a great time in their ice village. 

 

Spring break in April took us to Normandy.  Sarah and I did NOT want to go; I mean it was all going to be war stuff, right?  Jim pushed through the plans and assured us we would have a great time.  Hate to admit it (ever!), but he was right!  We loved Normandy. 

After our two summer months in the US, we were back in Holland, excited to see what dad had planned next!  For our October break, we headed to Prague.  It was awesome!  We went on segway tours of the city, went bobsledding, and took a detour over to Poland for mom to buy some pottery!  

 Christmas break took us to Rome.  It was just amazing.  This trip definitely ranks in the top three of the Chew family vacations!

 For spring break in April, we headed to Paris.  Jim took a small detour back to Holland for business, so the kids and I forced ourselves to take in EuroDisney!  We LOVE Mickey!

We took another whirlwind summer trip  home, Chicago, Rhode Island, and of course, Texas.  When we returned to Holland, we had just a few short weeks to get the house in order and head east - Middle East that is.  We moved to Dubai in August, 2010.   The summer was hot and it was Eid, so we really could not do that much exploring.  The kids and I took diving lessons and all became certified divers.  We could now add one more activity to the list of things we could do with Daddy!

We had a sudden change in the school calendar and found ourselves with a free week in November.  Jim announced we would be heading to Kenya.  I can not even begin to describe this trip.  We stayed in the most amazing resort with individual cabins (I can't think of a better word) built right into the hillside.  We went on several game drives and our own driver was amazed that we saw so much.  Animals he hadn't seen in months came out for us.  Not sure how Jim arranged that!  

In December we took a trip to Jordan.  It was amazing!  We walked through Petra for hours, floated in the Dead Sea and were able to stand on the very spot where Jesus was baptized.   Perfect Christmas holiday.

Sarah, Brian, and I toured Dubai over our spring break while Jim was working and Kevin was in Sri Lanka with the Habitat for Humanity.  After our two month holiday in the States, we stopped in Barcelona for some much needed family time.  Felt like we hadn't been together on a trip in SO long!   Barcelona was great, although the image of the naked old man on the beach has been burned into Sarah's memory forever! 

Our next school break was at Christmas.  We loaded up the cars, gave Kevin some 'road time' behind the wheel, and headed to Oman.  It was beautiful.  Kevin met up with an old friend he knew in Holland who now lives in Oman.  The rest of us took an amazing dolphin watching boat ride.  Beautiful resort and wonderful family time once again.

Our final expat vacation will be to Edinburgh, Scotland.  When we board the plane after that, the final stop will be Houston, Texas; more commonly called Home.  

While my wonderful travel agent has truly shown us so many amazing places, through school sports, field trips (yes, field trips - Week Without Walls they are called), and a few side trips, one or more of us have had the opportunity to visit Norway, Sweden, Denmark,  Luxembourg, Germany, India, Tanzania, Croatia, Switzerland, Hong Kong, Sri Lanka, Qatar, Portugal, Lebanon, and Singapore.

Thank you to my sweet husband and awesome travel agent.  What a gift you have given to your family.  We can't wait to see what is next....no pressure!!! 

Love Always....

    

It Almost Happened...

This past weekend was Kevin's Senior Prom.  I can write that, say that, look at pictures, and hear all his stories without shedding a tear...but it was close! 

I have some wonderful friends here.  When you are an expat, you automatically have a common bond with so many people.  Making friends is really easy.  You can walk into a room full of people and strike up a conversation because you always have an opening line - "How long have you lived in Dubai?".  Of course there are many other questions that follow quite easily;   "Where are you from?"; "Where did you move from?", and "How long will you be here?".  It is a quick and easy list, but that common bond of being an expat makes friendships grow rapidly.    

I didn't know that I was also entering another realm of friendships this year.  It is the bond of the Senior Mom.  We have spent several months now doing everything we can to make the last year of our childs' primary education a fun and exciting experience.  We have counted down the days till graduation; we have proudly worn T-shirts at school functions that define us as "Senior Moms", we have met monthly to pass out special treats to our kids, and have shared the college application cheers and tears.   It is a friendship bond that I didn't expect.  It has been an incredibly pleasant surprise. 

For months now I have heard my Senior Mom friends talk about happenings that have brought them to tears.  There was the first and then the last soccer game (or volleyball game, baseball game, or race).  There was the UCC - Ultimate Class Competition - a field day competition for the 9th-12th grades.  The musical, the final school carnival, and then the first college acceptance.  There have been so many events that have brought my dear friends to tears.  There also have been a variety of songs that seem to have the same effect.  We share all of these moments through facebook status updates, and discuss them thoroughly at lunch.    So I have to admit that nothing this year has made me cry...yet.  No song, no final event or final school celebration.  Not even decorating the hallway for the seniors brought a tear.  But, then we came to the Senior Prom.

This past weekend Kevin put on his new suit, picked up the corsage he had ordered for his date, and made plans for his night out on the town with his peers.  I was great with all the plans; told him how great he looked; took pictures.  Then, the drive to the Pre-Prom happened.  Every year an ASD family hosts a party for all the Seniors, their dates, and their families.  On the way to pre-prom it hit me.  This was Kevin's SENIOR PROM!  Seriously!   I looked at Kevin and just said, "This is your Senior Prom!".  He answered, "yea, I know".  No big deal to him.  I felt like I just had my breath taken away.  Kevin kept staring at me while I was driving and asking if I was OK.  Of course I was, but this was Senior Prom.  We arrived at the Pre-Prom party, went inside where I found all my Senior Mom friends.  I immediately informed them this was "Senior Prom!"  They laughed, said they knew, and just kept snapping pictures of these amazingly beautiful young ladies and young men.

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.  A tear never hit my cheek, but it was pretty darn close.  Kevin seemed to take great pleasure in telling his friends that I was finally crying.  No song, no other event, no college planning has made me cry.  But the Senior Prom.  That just about did it!    I think Kevin wants me to cry.  He keeps asking me if I'll cry at graduation.  I just don't know.  I am so happy for him, for all he has become, and for the marvelous future that lies before him.   Cry at graduation?  I just don't know...is that something I have to plan now?  I'll work on it!

Kevin and all of the Class of 2012 graduates.  Enjoy these final days, these final moments.  Know the tears that have been shed all year are truly tears of happiness and joy.  They are tears of pride for who you have become and tears of joyful anticipation for all that you will be. 
   

 

3,840 Lunches

I have packed 3,840 school lunches - so far.  I started thinking about my kids lunches last week when I realized that Kevin will be going off to college soon and I would only pull out two brown paper bags every morning instead of three.  OK, I know, I am thinking about weird things as I prepare myself for Kevin's departure to the far away world of university living, but I think that is what "senior moms" (as we call ourselves) do.

There are an estimated 180 school days every year.  This is broken down over a 36 week period.  My kids were always allowed to buy lunch one day a week.  On the occasional week, two days.  There are also the special days when I would bring in McDonalds or they would have a pizza party in the room.  So. I have averaged 128 lunches a year for Kevin's 12 years, Sarah's 10 years, and Brian's 8.  Total:  3, 840 lunches! 

So the lunchtime adventure began.  My kids grew up in the world of half-day kindergarten.  This was before the 5 year olds spent an entire day at school, without a nap but with an IPad!  How old fashioned that seems right now.  When Kevin started 1st grade at Cline Elementary in Friendswood, Texas, he wanted the same thing for lunch EVERY SINGLE DAY!  I know your mind is quickly jumping to PB&J right?  That is what all kids want.  But no, not Kevin.  Kevin wanted a tuna fish sandwich on white bread.  Tuna - right from the can.  No mixing with celery, mayo, and onion.  No mixing with anything.  Just a can of tuna on bread.  I would go to Sam's Club - warehouse shop - and buy the tuna in bulk!  My pantry was stacked with those little Starkist cans.  It was quick and easy - but a little odd! 

As Kevin grew his palate expanded, Sarah and Brian's lunch were put in the mix, and we progressed through the land of ham and cheese, turkey and cheese, just cheese, chicken quesadillas (yes, really), salads, grilled cheese, and Luchables.  This year, as an 18 year old high school senior, and 12 years later, Kevin has finally arrived at the world renowed PB&J for lunch.  It took years to get here, but he has arrived!  

These are pretty odd things to think about I guess.  Some people also think it is odd that I still pack my kids' lunches, but it is just what I do.  It is a mom thing!  I remember when they were little and I would cut their sandwiches into shapes.  I had quite the collection of really big cookie cutters.  I would send in hearts, stars, diamonds, flowers.  It was so darn cute!  AND it was the best way to take the crusts off their bread.  (BTW - the old wives tale is true; if you don't eat your crusts you will never be able to whistle!)  I would also put little notes in the bags or boxes.  The simple "I love you" or "have a great day" or just a smiley face note was always a hit.

I began with one lunch bag, then two years later, two bags and yet another two years later, three bags.  They have lined the kitchen counter in five different houses every morning, left to right, oldest child to youngest child for years.  Next year will be odd.  I will only pack two bags.  I only have 768 lunches left to pack.  We will be at another new school - this is school number 7 for us.  Will those kids bring lunch or buy?  The burning question awaits!  I can hardly wait to find out.

  

Spring Break (s)!

I don't know if it is because we are getting ready to move back to The States, because Kevin is getting ready to graduate, or because of the new facebook timeline, but my kids have been looking at old pictures A LOT lately.  They have pulled out the CD's - before I simply loaded pictures right to the computer - and have been sharing lots of stories of our pre-expat days!   Some of the best memories are of our family vacations in the US.  These vacations always consisted of either trips to visit family or trips to Disney - sometimes World sometimes Land.  Their reminiscing, of course, started me thinking about all our family trips too.  What awesome times we have had. 

We started planning our spring break way back in October.  Where, when, for how long???  Of course I had never imagined that our break would take my family in three different directions.  This year Kevin took a "senior trip" with some friends.  They ventured to Beruit, Lebanon - guy time!  Sarah took a trip to China with the Habitat for Humanity.  They flew in to Hong Kong and took trains and buses to their remote village, of which I can not think of the name.  Jim, Brian and I, left on our own, decided to take a trip to South Africa.  The boys went on safari...no, not the photographic kind.  I was left to take a few excursions on my own - ride an elephant, take pictures of wild animals, and actually read a book (one with no pictures!).

Everyone had a great time.  Everyone arrived home safe and sound and full of stories.  The first night together back home it was kind of like a "can you top this?" conversation.  Jim and I just sat and laughed as everyone shared their most colorful versions of spring break.  There were stories of wild animals, of creepy crawling things seeping through bare feet in the rice fields, and of boys to men stories which I will not share! 

I listened so intently to these stories and just marveled at what my children have done.  Just a few short years ago I never, ever would have imagined that my family would spend their vacation in three different countries!  I never thought we'd get anywhere besides Disney; and I was OK with that.  But now we dream of where we want to go next.  What part of the world we did not see yet. What experiences are my young adults putting on their bucket lists?  These are lists I know they will have to revise over and over again as the years continue. 

What a great break.  What great breaks we all had.  I can only shake my head and smile.  Maybe all of this is a dream, or better yet, maybe this is one of Disney's really great animatronics!!  Ready to go on this ride again!