It Almost Happened...

This past weekend was Kevin's Senior Prom.  I can write that, say that, look at pictures, and hear all his stories without shedding a tear...but it was close! 

I have some wonderful friends here.  When you are an expat, you automatically have a common bond with so many people.  Making friends is really easy.  You can walk into a room full of people and strike up a conversation because you always have an opening line - "How long have you lived in Dubai?".  Of course there are many other questions that follow quite easily;   "Where are you from?"; "Where did you move from?", and "How long will you be here?".  It is a quick and easy list, but that common bond of being an expat makes friendships grow rapidly.    

I didn't know that I was also entering another realm of friendships this year.  It is the bond of the Senior Mom.  We have spent several months now doing everything we can to make the last year of our childs' primary education a fun and exciting experience.  We have counted down the days till graduation; we have proudly worn T-shirts at school functions that define us as "Senior Moms", we have met monthly to pass out special treats to our kids, and have shared the college application cheers and tears.   It is a friendship bond that I didn't expect.  It has been an incredibly pleasant surprise. 

For months now I have heard my Senior Mom friends talk about happenings that have brought them to tears.  There was the first and then the last soccer game (or volleyball game, baseball game, or race).  There was the UCC - Ultimate Class Competition - a field day competition for the 9th-12th grades.  The musical, the final school carnival, and then the first college acceptance.  There have been so many events that have brought my dear friends to tears.  There also have been a variety of songs that seem to have the same effect.  We share all of these moments through facebook status updates, and discuss them thoroughly at lunch.    So I have to admit that nothing this year has made me cry...yet.  No song, no final event or final school celebration.  Not even decorating the hallway for the seniors brought a tear.  But, then we came to the Senior Prom.

This past weekend Kevin put on his new suit, picked up the corsage he had ordered for his date, and made plans for his night out on the town with his peers.  I was great with all the plans; told him how great he looked; took pictures.  Then, the drive to the Pre-Prom happened.  Every year an ASD family hosts a party for all the Seniors, their dates, and their families.  On the way to pre-prom it hit me.  This was Kevin's SENIOR PROM!  Seriously!   I looked at Kevin and just said, "This is your Senior Prom!".  He answered, "yea, I know".  No big deal to him.  I felt like I just had my breath taken away.  Kevin kept staring at me while I was driving and asking if I was OK.  Of course I was, but this was Senior Prom.  We arrived at the Pre-Prom party, went inside where I found all my Senior Mom friends.  I immediately informed them this was "Senior Prom!"  They laughed, said they knew, and just kept snapping pictures of these amazingly beautiful young ladies and young men.

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.  A tear never hit my cheek, but it was pretty darn close.  Kevin seemed to take great pleasure in telling his friends that I was finally crying.  No song, no other event, no college planning has made me cry.  But the Senior Prom.  That just about did it!    I think Kevin wants me to cry.  He keeps asking me if I'll cry at graduation.  I just don't know.  I am so happy for him, for all he has become, and for the marvelous future that lies before him.   Cry at graduation?  I just don't know...is that something I have to plan now?  I'll work on it!

Kevin and all of the Class of 2012 graduates.  Enjoy these final days, these final moments.  Know the tears that have been shed all year are truly tears of happiness and joy.  They are tears of pride for who you have become and tears of joyful anticipation for all that you will be. 
   

 

3,840 Lunches

I have packed 3,840 school lunches - so far.  I started thinking about my kids lunches last week when I realized that Kevin will be going off to college soon and I would only pull out two brown paper bags every morning instead of three.  OK, I know, I am thinking about weird things as I prepare myself for Kevin's departure to the far away world of university living, but I think that is what "senior moms" (as we call ourselves) do.

There are an estimated 180 school days every year.  This is broken down over a 36 week period.  My kids were always allowed to buy lunch one day a week.  On the occasional week, two days.  There are also the special days when I would bring in McDonalds or they would have a pizza party in the room.  So. I have averaged 128 lunches a year for Kevin's 12 years, Sarah's 10 years, and Brian's 8.  Total:  3, 840 lunches! 

So the lunchtime adventure began.  My kids grew up in the world of half-day kindergarten.  This was before the 5 year olds spent an entire day at school, without a nap but with an IPad!  How old fashioned that seems right now.  When Kevin started 1st grade at Cline Elementary in Friendswood, Texas, he wanted the same thing for lunch EVERY SINGLE DAY!  I know your mind is quickly jumping to PB&J right?  That is what all kids want.  But no, not Kevin.  Kevin wanted a tuna fish sandwich on white bread.  Tuna - right from the can.  No mixing with celery, mayo, and onion.  No mixing with anything.  Just a can of tuna on bread.  I would go to Sam's Club - warehouse shop - and buy the tuna in bulk!  My pantry was stacked with those little Starkist cans.  It was quick and easy - but a little odd! 

As Kevin grew his palate expanded, Sarah and Brian's lunch were put in the mix, and we progressed through the land of ham and cheese, turkey and cheese, just cheese, chicken quesadillas (yes, really), salads, grilled cheese, and Luchables.  This year, as an 18 year old high school senior, and 12 years later, Kevin has finally arrived at the world renowed PB&J for lunch.  It took years to get here, but he has arrived!  

These are pretty odd things to think about I guess.  Some people also think it is odd that I still pack my kids' lunches, but it is just what I do.  It is a mom thing!  I remember when they were little and I would cut their sandwiches into shapes.  I had quite the collection of really big cookie cutters.  I would send in hearts, stars, diamonds, flowers.  It was so darn cute!  AND it was the best way to take the crusts off their bread.  (BTW - the old wives tale is true; if you don't eat your crusts you will never be able to whistle!)  I would also put little notes in the bags or boxes.  The simple "I love you" or "have a great day" or just a smiley face note was always a hit.

I began with one lunch bag, then two years later, two bags and yet another two years later, three bags.  They have lined the kitchen counter in five different houses every morning, left to right, oldest child to youngest child for years.  Next year will be odd.  I will only pack two bags.  I only have 768 lunches left to pack.  We will be at another new school - this is school number 7 for us.  Will those kids bring lunch or buy?  The burning question awaits!  I can hardly wait to find out.

  

Spring Break (s)!

I don't know if it is because we are getting ready to move back to The States, because Kevin is getting ready to graduate, or because of the new facebook timeline, but my kids have been looking at old pictures A LOT lately.  They have pulled out the CD's - before I simply loaded pictures right to the computer - and have been sharing lots of stories of our pre-expat days!   Some of the best memories are of our family vacations in the US.  These vacations always consisted of either trips to visit family or trips to Disney - sometimes World sometimes Land.  Their reminiscing, of course, started me thinking about all our family trips too.  What awesome times we have had. 

We started planning our spring break way back in October.  Where, when, for how long???  Of course I had never imagined that our break would take my family in three different directions.  This year Kevin took a "senior trip" with some friends.  They ventured to Beruit, Lebanon - guy time!  Sarah took a trip to China with the Habitat for Humanity.  They flew in to Hong Kong and took trains and buses to their remote village, of which I can not think of the name.  Jim, Brian and I, left on our own, decided to take a trip to South Africa.  The boys went on safari...no, not the photographic kind.  I was left to take a few excursions on my own - ride an elephant, take pictures of wild animals, and actually read a book (one with no pictures!).

Everyone had a great time.  Everyone arrived home safe and sound and full of stories.  The first night together back home it was kind of like a "can you top this?" conversation.  Jim and I just sat and laughed as everyone shared their most colorful versions of spring break.  There were stories of wild animals, of creepy crawling things seeping through bare feet in the rice fields, and of boys to men stories which I will not share! 

I listened so intently to these stories and just marveled at what my children have done.  Just a few short years ago I never, ever would have imagined that my family would spend their vacation in three different countries!  I never thought we'd get anywhere besides Disney; and I was OK with that.  But now we dream of where we want to go next.  What part of the world we did not see yet. What experiences are my young adults putting on their bucket lists?  These are lists I know they will have to revise over and over again as the years continue. 

What a great break.  What great breaks we all had.  I can only shake my head and smile.  Maybe all of this is a dream, or better yet, maybe this is one of Disney's really great animatronics!!  Ready to go on this ride again!   

The New Road

I LOVE the new road.  The new road is a quick way to get to school.  The new road is safe for Kevin to drive on because it has a lot less traffic.  The new road makes it SO easy to go to Spinneys.  I just LOVE the new road.  The new road is the road behind the Meadows.  They are putting a walkway over the new road so people don't have to dodge traffic to get to the grocery store.   It is a wonderful road.  The new road is now my favorite travel route in Dubai.  Unfortunately, I can't tell you how to get to my house on the new road; or how to get to school on the new road because the new road does not have a name.  Just like so many other roads in Dubai.  The new road has been open for several months now and remains unnamed!  Take THAT navigation system!  

Getting around Dubai can be a little bit of a challenge!  OK, that statement alone comes with a smirk!  A little challenge?!   When we arrived in Dubai, Jim took several days away from the office to teach me how to drive here.  How to get to the school, the grocery store, the all important mall.  He drove me to those places a few times, then he drove with me a few times....then it was time for a solo adventure!   Now, almost two years later, I can go anywhere!  Driving here for the first time was just as exciting as putting gas in the car for the first time in Holland, but that is another story!  

We bought a GPS (navigation system) when we arrived here.  I had relied so heavily upon that little black box while living in Europe, I knew I needed it here.  The first time out of the box, the lovely british voice on the GPS was telling me where to go.  After following her directions ever so carefully she surprisingly said "make a "U" turn".  She would then take me back in the opposite direction and suddenly yell out - "recalculating route" as if I had done something wrong.  I must admit that my favorite phrase is "follow the direction of the road" - as opposed to what??  After a few adventures with her, I wanted to tell her where to go! 

So in this little emirate (I did not call it a country!) that boasts the tallest building in the world; the biggest shopping mall in the world, and is ready to host the biggest horse race in the world, you can't find your way around because while they were busy building these wonderful, beautiful, architecturally amazing buildings, they forgot to print up street signs!

I have learned my way around through the wonderful directions that men think women love! They go something like this:  "take Al Wasl road until the gas station with the Subway, turn right and go to the second street with the big tree, then turn left at the yellow house with all the flower pots in front.   Then I'll be the 3rd villa on the right!"    I've got it!

You can actually tell how long someone has lived in Dubai by some of the directions they give  If they tell you to exit Sheik Zayed (SZ) at interchange 3, you know they have lived here for at least 6 years.   The GPS continues to tell you to exit SZ at specific interchanges.  The exit ramps no longer refer to the roads as interchanges, the main roads actually have names.  Most of them begin with "Al", which in the  beginning made me think that "Al" was an even more popular name here than Mohammad.  I have since learned differently!

So, come to Dubai.  Rent a car!  Enjoy the adventure!  Experience my new road.  You can find it by taking the road that runs through the middle of the Meadows past the new Enoc gas station and making a left at the dead end!

Maris

Living in Dubai is very different than any other place I've ever lived.  It is kind of pretty, kind of not.  It is a big city, but not a bustling metropolis like Chicago or New York.  There are many adjustments to be made when moving to Dubai.  Aside from the obvious adjustment of living in a Muslim country, you have to get used to the heat.  You have to get used to driving in totally insane conditions, and you have to get used to not being able to find what you want, when you want it, in the stores.  Those are probably the major drawbacks about being here

On the upside, you have sunshine 99.9% of the time.  No real need to look out your window in the morning to see what the weather is ilke!  The kids go to a wonderful international school with kids from over 60 countries; this has expanded their view of the world dramatically.   And, you have people who want to wait on you - EVERYWHERE!  When grocery shopping they unload your shopping cart, ring up your order, bag your groceries and then put them in the car for you!   And my personal favorite - they pump your gas for you!  What a treat!

So today I write about Maris.  Maris is our live-in housekeeper.  When we first moved here, we were a little undecided about whether to have live-in help or not.   It is more common than not to have live-in help.  Some expats have a maid, a cook, a nanny AND a driver!  Us, well we have Maris!  

Maris is Filipina.  She is in her late 40's and came to Dubai six years ago  She has a husband and a son in the Philippines.  Maris came here to work after her husband lost his job in construction.  Maris is working to put her son through college; he graduates at the end of March!  Maris is also a new grandmother.   Her grandson is 9 months old.  She has not seen him yet and will not see him until he is almost two.
 

So what does Maris do?  Hmmm..what does Maris NOT do?   Maris gets up every morning and starts working at 6 AM.  She starts everyday by unloading the dishwasher and cleaning the kitchen from whatever mess we made the prior evening.  Then Maris whistles for the dogs to come downstairs.  They run to her!   Then she walks them while I get the kids ready and off to school.  Maris does the laundry, irons everything, cleans the house, washes the cars, tends to the dogs, cleans the windows,water the flowers and pulls weeds when she is bored!  Maris ends her day at 6 PM by taking the dogs out for their final walk.  

Twelve hour days, six days a week.  Wow!   I mean, really, can you imagine?!  At the end of the day Maris goes  to her room inside of our house.  It is a small room, but according to Maris it is bigger than her last.  She has a bed, dresser, table and stool, and an armoire that we gave her.  This is where Maris spends her evenings and her days off.  

I feel truly spoiled by having Maris work for us!  So how do I think Maris likes it here?  Well, it is really hard for me to say.  If you ask her, she'll tell you she likes it.   To Maris being able to go home once a year is a luxury.  Most contracts here with the workers are written so that they are permitted to go home once every two years - if they have the money.  The housemaids have it in their contract that the employer pays the airfare for them to go home every two years, but most North American expats send their help home annually.  

Last week Maris told me that one of our neighbors - a man we have not yet - hollered at her while she was walking the dogs.  My little dog, Rascal, likes to bark at other dogs. Period.  He doesn't bark at people, try to attack them, or cause any general disturbance.  He is 8 lbs of hair that like to hear his voice when there is another dog in the area.  He is boss!  So, while Maris was walking Rascal past our neighbors' villa, this man came out of the driveway and hollered at Maris, telling her to keep the dog away from his son.  He proceeded to tell her that if the dog bit his son, he would see that she goes to prison.  Maris was quite shaken when she told me.  She did not, and had not, had the dog by the little boy; she was simply walking by.  Oh, and the family has two kids and two nannies, both who are attached to the kids when they are outside, so really no danger for the dog to get at the boy, no matter how much he wanted!  The man went on to question her as to why she even walks the dog - she simply replied that it is her job.  

Anyway, Maris was pretty upset when she told me what happened.    I told her that if he approached her again, she needs to just tell him to come talk to her employer.  I apologized to Maris, but still felt so bad.  I told her that the man would never talk to me that way and the only reason why he spoke to her, was because of who she was and where she was from.  She understood, but it has to be a difficult thing to really grasp. 

This exchange caused me to really look around; I mean physically look around.  This country is filled with people from all over the world.  There is a definite ranking system here. The locals are at the top, way at the top.  Then there are the  Americans and Brits, then there are the other expats, and then after an incredibly expansive gap the philippeana, pakistani, and sri lankan workers.   I read in a book how as expats we learn to “edit out” the workers.   How we get to the point where we don't even notice them and they blend into the landscape of Dubai.  

So today I started watching and noticing.    I watched the gardener working ever so tediously in my yard.  He actually cuts the weeds out of the lawn with a little pocket knife, inch by inch.  I watched the eight buses pick up the construction workers from the building project in the front of the neighborhood.  I watched the man whose sole job is to wipe and polish the stainless steel railings on our bridges.  I noticed the four men who come to the same spot every day with brooms and brush the boulders in the waterfall, trying to keep them algae free.   Then I watched the many workers lay on the grass at noon and sleep.  This is the life of many of these workers.  They come here, work 12 hour days, nap on the grass when they have a break.  I do think that most are very grateful for the opportunity to work.  They are considered the lucky ones from their home towns.  They are the heroes when they go home to visit.  They are the sole provider for extended families.  Every penny that can be spared is sent home.  Do you know Maris has never been to the movies?  She wouldn’t think of spending money on something so frivolous.  

As I look at them, the lucky ones, I can’t help but notice the sullen faces.  Their definition of luck is certainly different than mine.  I am truly the lucky one.  Not only am I pampered, but now I truly see everything around me.   My ability to ‘edit’ has been changed.  There are no long people blending into the landscape, but people working hard to make the place where I live beautiful.   Thank you Maris..

Around town.

We have been in Dubai for almost two years.  There are things about Dubai that I absolutely LOVE....the sun shines 99% of the time, they pump your gas for you, when you go to the movies, you get to preselect your seats, and the views of the city are just beautiful.  There are things about Dubai that I absolutely hate...the driving is scary, finding things in the grocery store is challenging, and the dust and sand can find it's way into any house.  Then there are things that are confusing...I will share these things in the form of pictures!

Target.  The place Americans love, miss, and dream about.  But WAIT!  We do have a Target - see the sign in the distance?

Before you get too excited though...Dubai Target is a little different than what we are used to!

If you find yourself truly disappointed, you can always go to the saloon.  Don't look there for a glass of wine though!  Simply pampering.

Or, you can walk around one of the many malls.  Some of them are really big, but don't worry, if you get lost, they'll tell you right where you are!

You do have to be careful driving here.  Lots of road work.  They do have helpful signs though.  

If you are looking to party, you can find places to go, just not this place!

You can even have a Happy Meal.  Too bad Waldo wasn't invited! 

We have great service people here too.  These guys usually have lots of open appointments! 

So if you are looking for a new place to settle down....Dubai is GREAT!

One of THOSE days!

Did you ever have one of those days?  I mean, a day where you really shouldn't complain, nothing has gone tragically wrong, everyone is healthy and happy, safe and sound, but you still just want to slap someone?!   Well, today was one of those days.

It all really started about 3 weeks ago.  OK,  not about 3 weeks ago, exactly 3 weeks ago.  It all started on January 25.  I received a recorded message from Chase bank.  Of course this call was received in the middle of the night since they are calling from Houston and just can't figure out that nasty time change.  Well, the call informed my..via recorded message ...that my account may have been compromised and they are cancelling my debit card.  The friendly voice on the phone said they would be mailing a new card in 7-10 business days.   Thus began the fun!  I called Chase the next morning and informed them that they could not mail me a new card, that the card needed to be sent via courier (Fed Ex, DHL, UPS) because Dubai does not have home mail delivery.  The friendly man on the other end of the phone informed me he would put all that information in the record and that they would send the card via one of those couriers.  Yea!  So easy! 

Well, as the weeks have gone on I have made 3 more calls to Chase Bank.  I have been trying to track down my new debit card.  During one call, when I asked how the new card was shipped to me, the friendly blond lady on the phone (pretty sure she was blond) told me the card was sent in a white envelope with a window in it!  (See what I mean!) 

I have come to find out through many expensive phone calls that Chase has mailed my card - US mail (evidently in a nice white, window envelope!)   Now, all of us living in the UAE know that this card is now in the great expanse of the desert and will never be seen again. 

My last phone call and written e-mail correspondence instructed me to FAX -- yes FAX -- in a letter asking them to courier a new card.  I have been told that because of all the trouble (who's trouble?), that they can not take an e-mail, it must be a FAX.    OK..I'm getting to today now!

SO, I wrote a lovely letter instructing Chase to ship me a card - any kind of envelope will do, as long as it is sent via an international courier service!   When I took Brian to the doctor today, I saw a little office sign at the gas station.  It said they have e-mail, bill pay, and FAX!  Yea!  This isn't so bad.  I drove over, went inside and was greeted by three lovely young ladies.  "Good Morning, Madam"..three times over!   I gave a wonderful greeting back and told them I needed to send a FAX.  They smiled so sweetly and said their fax machine is broken.  When asked if they knew of another location to send a fax, well, I won't continue, you know the answer.  Away I went! 

Later today as I drove to the gas station to get Wendy's for Brian (yes, I buy lunch at gas stations now), I saw the sign on the shop of the station.  It said 'FAX'.  I was so happy!  I went in, told the man at the counter I needed to send a FAX.  He told me they don't send faxes there.  Since I was standing next to the sign that read "FAX", I questioned him, pointed to the word "FAX" - as if that would help - and said "it says FAX".  He told me they don't have a phone in the gas station and you need a phone for a FAX machine.  Oh...silly me.

So, tonight I went into Kevin's room.  I happened to look at his new printer.  It has a button labeled FAX!  Oh my, I have been driving all over and I have a fax machine in the house.  I moved Kevin's dresser, unplugged the wires from the machine, unplugged the machine from the wall and carried it to my bedroom.  I know that sounds romantic, but that is really just the only place in the house that has a telephone line connected.  I was so happy to have solved my own problem.  I moved my bed, unplugged my phone line from the wall, unplugged my lamp and reconnected Kevin's printer.   YEA!  DONE!!  Then this beeping noise and a message "Printer out of ink. Replace cartridge before you fax something you idiot!"   OK, I am exaggerating just a little here, but I think you get my point - no fax!  

It is 9:50  PM.  I run to the garage, jump in my car and zoom over to Spinney's hoping to find a printer cartridge. I am determined to get this FAX out today.  Well, surprise surprise!  No ink cartridges at Spinneys.  You knew that was how the story was going to end, right!? 

As I get back in my car to drive home, I begin to laugh.  I mean, what else can I do?  I begin my nighttime prayers early.  I thank God for the wonderful day.  I thank him for keeping us all healthy and safe.  I thank him for the opportunity to experience life as an expat.  AND,  I thank him for giving me a sense of humor.  Without it, I'm pretty sure I'd be kicking dogs, growling at kittens, and eating an entire row of mint cookies.

Tomorrow is another day - fax machines of the world...LOOK OUT!